From the French Beest 'Davide'

Guy goes to his doctor, he is not feeling well. Doctor runs a battery of tests, reviews his history, and calls him into his office. The guy is really anxious; he says "what is it doc?" and the doctor says "I have good news and bad news...which do you want first?" The guy says "give me the bad news, let's get it over with

The doctor says "well, unfortunately you have a viral infection, it's all through your body, and in my best professional opinion I can only give you 2, maybe 3 weeks to live." All of the wind is taken out of the guy....he asks "what's the good news?" The doctor says "well, did you happen to notice my hot blonde receptionist the one with the big boobs and the great ass? and the guy starts nodding his head and saying "yeah! yeah!

and the doctor says "Well, I'm fucking her".

From Rebex

Jonathan Ross only goes to rugby matches to
play pranks on people.

He loves Twickenham.