How do you get an Irishman on the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house!

What did 1 Jewish bird say to the other?

Cheap cheap!

What do you call 4 mexicans swimming?

Quatro cinqo

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

With a porcupine - the pricks are on the outside!

Whats the name of the state with all the potatoes in it?

Person is supposed to say - "Idaho?"

Thats right you da ho!!!

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

What do you call a midget party?

A little get together!

What do gay people eat?

HAAAYYYYYY!

What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan!

Did you hear about the Irishman who won the nobel prize?

He was out standing in his field!

Whats the difference between jam and marmalade?

Its not like you can marmalade your dick up a girls ass!

A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar....

The barman is like 'no I'm afraid we don't serve food in here'!

A dyslexic..

walks into a bra!

Theres a young boy......

.....walking back home from school when a car pulls up next to him and the man inside says, "hello little boy, I'll give you a sweetie if you come in my car." The boy leans in and says, "give me the whole packet and I'll cum in your mouth." !

What do you call a man with a Spade in his head?

Doug!

(best told along with the other 'what do you call a man jokes' that are found earlier on in the blog)

xx

What do you call 2 men hanging on a window?

Kurt and Rod!

Whats another name for pickled bread?

Dill Dough!

What time do you go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty!

What does Michael Jackson have in common with caviar?

They both come on little crackers!

Whats the difference between a lorryful of marbles and a lorryful of babies?

Its not like you can empty a lorryful of marbles with a pitchfork!

What do you call an Irishman who stays out all night?

Pati'o Furniture!

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape!

A guy in a bar says....

"I could have sex with 9 out of 10 people here"

"Buy why" they ask.

"I'm a RAPIST"!

Whats blue and fucks grannies?

ME in my lucky blue suit babes!

What do you give a paedophile who has it all?

A bigger parish!

What do you call a blind deer?

No eye deer?!?

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no eye deer?!?

what do you call a blind deer with no penis and no legs?

Still no fucking eye deer!

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Tennis!