Whats the difference between Madeline McCann and Mother Theresa?

Mother Theresa died a virgin!

Why couldn't the carrot see in the dark?

Because he wasn't a cannibal!

(made up by Patrick Moseley)

What do you call an Irishman with a bulletproof vest on?

Rick O'Shea!

How do you get an Irishman on the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house!

What did 1 Jewish bird say to the other?

Cheap cheap!

What do you call 4 mexicans swimming?

Quatro cinqo

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

With a porcupine - the pricks are on the outside!