A guy in a bar says....

"I could have sex with 9 out of 10 people here"

"Buy why" they ask.

"I'm a RAPIST"!

Whats blue and fucks grannies?

ME in my lucky blue suit babes!

What do you give a paedophile who has it all?

A bigger parish!

What do you call a blind deer?

No eye deer?!?

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?

Still no eye deer?!?

what do you call a blind deer with no penis and no legs?

Still no fucking eye deer!

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Tennis!